Software

Apple iPhone Updates Delayed Phones, Settlement Coming

I KNEW IT!

For years now I’ve been publicly telling my friends, family, social media—damn, anyone who would listen—that Apple was playing tricks on us.

How come every time we get an iOS software upgrade on our iPhone, they suddenly become slower?

At first I sounded like a deranged conspiracy theorist. But as I talked to more and more people, I realized that almost everyone went through the same thing over and over again. As someone who has owned multiple iPhones over the years, it became so frustrating that I deliberately stopped allowing automatic software updates. I wouldn’t let Apple keep ruining my day-to-day life. Damn, save the empire.

But guess what… we were right!

Apple will begin paying plaintiffs who were part of a class action lawsuit against their software update. (Photo credit must read CFOTO/Future Publishing via Getty Images)

APPLE REACHES A SETTLEMENT ON UPGRADE PROBLEMS

On Friday, a judge ordered Apple to pay out hundreds of millions of dollars to more than 3.3 million plaintiffs who were part of a 2020 class action lawsuit against the tech giant. The expected payout will eventually cost Apple somewhere between $310 and $500 MILLION DOLLARS. The plaintiffs argued that Apple’s iPhones used “software throttling” tactics, which deliberately slowed down users’ phones so they would buy new ones. (Exactly what I argued!)

Apple has never officially admitted any wrongdoing, rather arguing that the updates slowed down phones due to battery issues, yadda yadda yadda. The agreement originally came back in 2020, but like all things, it took years for anything to actually happen. That’s all changing now with expected payments in the coming days and weeks.

Apple CEO Tim Cook talks with colleagues. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

How much money are we talking about?

Unfortunately, litigants only get $65-$80 dollars. To be honest, that absolutely stinks, especially when I look back at the thousands of dollars I’ve given Apple. (Also, why on earth do they keep changing their charging ports?! Well, we know why…)

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Either way, it’s definitely a moral victory for the little person going up against the big tech giant. A win is a win folks!

An interesting side note: iPhone users are currently getting a warning about a new software update on their phone. I’m sure they have “the best of intentions”, but since Apple has screwed us so many times over the years, I’m sure a lot of people won’t update on purpose. You can’t fool us anymore, Apple.

What’s really interesting about the timing is something else I’ve been debating about for years (and now proven right with Apple’s settlement). Why did major software updates seem to arrive around September or October? Handy, when new iPhones were also released, and in the lead up to Black Friday – one of the biggest shopping days of the year (as well as the holiday season when people are willing to spend money on new things… like Apple iPhones). Hmm.

Anyway, if you were one of the millions of people who were part of the class action lawsuit, I want you to go and buy a delicious steak (medium rare) with the money from the settlement.

You deserve it my friend. And never trust big technology either.

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